


Hardcore

by SquishyCool



Category: iCarly
Genre: Friendship, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2009-04-30
Updated: 2009-05-31
Packaged: 2013-08-21 04:57:36
Rating: T
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,927
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5030992/1/
Author URL: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1394403/SquishyCool
Summary: AU, based on the movie "Superbad": Sam and Carly are seniors and don't really have the best social lives. But along with their friend, Freddie, they're about to have one unintentionally wild night, and define the word HARDCORE.





	1. Just Another Friday Morning

**A/N: **Check it out: here's chapter one of the I-dunno-how-many-chapters story. But basically, you NEED to see **_Superbad_** before you read this. It's not a total rip-off of the movie, but the main characters, Seth and Evan (who are best friends), I've replaced with Sam and Carly. When watching the movie, I got this brilliant idea of Sam and Carly being in Seth and Evan's place, and Freddie being Fogell/McLovin, and so on and so forth. The story's framework is based around the movie, so I basically will follow the events of the movie and put in my own little twists and turns, and of course Sam, Carly, and Freddie's own little dialogues. Yes, it is AU, so forget everything you know from the series (besides the characters' personalities) because it doesn't apply here.  
Also, LOTTTSS of credit to **Lucy Carrigan**, who helped me develop a ton of these ideas and totally encouraged me while writing this. I also got her permission to use her 2 OC's, Leah and Noah, from her story _Love Type Thing_ (if you haven't read it, DO SO!) which is a story also based on another Judd Apatow film, "Knocked Up", so we figured if I threw in Leah and Noah with Spencer, then it'd kinda coincide really neatly.  
Um, anything else I'm forgetting? I don't think so. If you have any questions at all about the story, feel free to ask and I'll clear it up for you. It's rated T right now, but will probably change to M eventually. If you like it, or if you hate it, please let me know in a review! I'd love to hear your criticism, and I'll try to update soon.  
Btw, I've got writer's block on my other stories, so don't bug me about them right now... I'll update them when I get around to it.

* * *

**Chapter 1  
Just Another Friday Morning**

There was a loud, familiar knock on the door. Carly Shay jumped up from her seat at the table in front of her bowl of cereal and rushed to the sound, calling on the way, "I'll get it!"

She opened up the door to find her best friend, Sam Puckett, standing in front of her, backpack on her arm and keys in her hand. "Ready?"

"Yeah, just a sec," Carly replied with a smile, leaving the door open as she went over to the couch and grabbed her bag. "Spence, I'm leaving!"

Her older brother, Spencer Shay, came jogging out of his bedroom, baby's bib in hand. "Woah, hey. Did ya finish your cereal? And your trig homework?"

Carly stopped at the door next to Sam and nodded. "Yes."

He smiled when he saw Sam, giving a light wave with his empty hand. "Hey, Sam."

Sam nodded towards him. "Hey."

"Okay, well, I might not be home when you get back, Carls. I'm taking Noah and Leah to the park later," Spencer told Carly, referring to his wife and toddler son, the latter of which was sitting in a high chair at the table.

"Okay. I'll see you later then," Carly said.

The two girls left the apartment, shutting the door behind them, and headed towards the elevator, taking it down to the lobby. They walked out to Sam's car and got inside, Sam starting the engine and putting it into Drive while Carly put on her seatbelt.

"I am truly jealous you get to look at that every day," Sam finally commented, completely straight-faced, as she pulled out of her parking spot.

Carly giggled. "Gross, Sam."

Sam shrugged. "What? Your brother's _hot_, dude. I'd so bang him…"

Carly just shook her head and sighed, adding sarcastically, "Yeah, and I'd so bang your _dad_."

Sam scrunched up her nose in disgust. "But he's in prison…"

After a few minutes' drive, Sam pulled her car into the parking lot designated for staff, since it was conveniently placed close to the school and close to Jiffy Mart, then got out, leading Carly up to the sidewalk.

"You really shouldn't park in the staff parking lot, ya know," Carly commented, glancing back at Sam's beat-up car sitting in a spot specifically reserved for one of the math teachers. "You're gonna get towed one of these days."

Sam shrugged. "Who cares? There's _two weeks_ of school left."

The girls were soon stopped on their way inside the store, however, by a high-pitched voice calling out Sam's name. They stopped walking and turned around to see Rona Berger and two of her friends, mocking grins on their faces.

"Oh, hey, Rona," Sam muttered listlessly.

"Hey, Sam," Rona greeted in her usual high-pitched, almost mocking tone. "So, did you hear about my party tonight? Seniors only."

"Uh, no," Sam replied awkwardly.

Carly watched with unease, afraid of another fight between the two girls. Their hatred for each other had escalated in the past year.

"Well, you're _not_ invited," Rona spat, then laughed cruelly. "And tell your stupid friend, Carly, not to show up either!"

With the last statement, she took the half-empty smoothie cup from her nearest friend's hand and chucked it at Sam. It hit the blonde in the chest, some of the blue substance dribbling down her shirt as the cup fell to the ground and spilled out at her feet. Carly's eyes got wide, but Sam only slightly winced at the impact of the cup, then sighed.

"Okay, will do," she said, acting unaffected.

Sam turned around and walked away, Carly quickly following behind her as they headed into the convenience store. The brunette let out a sigh of relief.

"I thought you were gonna punch her again," Carly admitted.

"Yeah, well… Franklin said I can't fight anymore or else he'll keep me from graduating," Sam stated simply, grabbing some napkins off the counter and wiping at her shirt as she headed for the aisle where the Fat Cakes were. "Thanks for standing up for me, though."

"What was _I_ supposed to do? Jump in front of the cup? I was about as prepared for that as you were," Carly exclaimed, picking out a snack for herself and pulling a juice bottle out of the refrigerator nearby.

Sam shrugged, wanting to change the subject away from what had just happened. "I dunno, but we need to do something about this."

"About what?" the other girl asked, gazing at the display of muffins thoughtfully.

"Our social lives. Everyone's gonna be at Rona's _stupid_ party, and where are we gonna be?"

A shrug from the taller girl. "At home playing video games? Watching _Girly Cow_ reruns with Freddie? Or maybe getting drunk off of Spencer's scotch _while_ we watch _Girly Cow_ reruns? What do we usually do on Friday nights?"

"Exactly. We need to get out and do some partying. It's senior year and we haven't done shit. There are literally two weeks left of school and all we've done is… a bunch of research papers. I still haven't had sex!"

Carly's eyes widened at her best friend. "Sam! …So what? You'll have plenty of time in college to do all that stuff."

"No, that's the thing. I wanna go to college _experienced_. College is the time when girls are supposed to experiment and stuff – because they've already done all the routine stuff in high school. See what I'm getting at?"

"Um… no. I don't see the big deal with it. Honestly. It's not like you're gonna get that much experience before college anyway. It's too late."

"No, it's not!" Sam snapped. "I've got the whole summer to have a boyfriend and do all kinds of wacky, fun stuff! We can do it in the pool, and on the beach, and in the ocean, and in the shower… I could give him road head!"

Carly scoffed, picking up a pack of muffins and reading the nutrition label absent-mindedly. "Yeah, sounds romantic. I – "

"It's not about romance here, Carls," Sam stated, her face somber now as she stared at her best friend seriously. "It's about gettin' some. And I'm a girl who's desperately in need of some. I can _not_ go to college a virgin. I've got a libido to take care of here."

"But didn't you and Jonah do stuff last year?" Carly recalled Sam's boyfriend of about a month from junior year.

The blonde shrugged nonchalantly. "He fingered me about a bazillion times and I got like, half ate out. But that totally doesn't count. He was a douche anyway."

"Ah, okay," Carly chuckled, putting back the pack of muffins.

"What about you? Don't tell me you _don't_ wanna get laid before college starts," Sam pondered, picking out an energy drink from the refrigerator.

"I dunno… I'm just waiting for the right guy," she answered. "I mean… I flirt with Jake all the time in trig. And I think he flirts back…. but I'm not sure."

Sam's jaw dropped. "Jake Krandle? Ugh, you've gotta be kidding me, Carls."

"_What?_"

"Dude, Jake is so… I can't even describe it…"

"He's cute! And nice… and funny… and smart! He's in trig, for goodness's sake!"

"But he's _such_ a _nub_!" Sam contradicted.

Carly rolled her eyes. "I don't see why you hate him so much… You have no reason to hate him. He's really cool, and he's nice to you even when you're a total jerk to him. Why – "

"Look, that's not what's important," Sam interrupted quickly. "What's important is that if you want your first time to be so special, don't do it with Jake. Please."

Carly just shook her head. "You're not choosing who I sleep with, Sam. You wanna get laid by _whoever_, well… I'm a little pickier."

The girls took their chosen items up to the counter and set them down as Sam continued on her spiel about Jake.

"Dude, Jake dated that Stephanie chick for _how many_ years? And he cheated on her _how many _times? He's a total nub and a loser, and yeah, he may be nice to look at, but once you get down to it, he's probably got a six-inch cock and a six-_foot_ ego. He's a douche and a loser, and if you give it up to him, he'll probably never call you or speak to you again, and then_ I'll_ be the one who has to deal with you and try to get you out there again in time for college, and – "

She paused as she realized she didn't have any money, adding in, "Hey, will you get this for me?"

When Carly handed over the money to the person behind the counter, Sam quickly continued. "And then you'll be crying, '_wah wah wah_, why doesn't Jake like me, why can't I get a boyfriend, _wah wah wah_' and _I'll_ be trying to get laid, but it won't be happening because _you'll_ be all upset that _I'm_ getting some and _you_ aren't, and then I'll feel bad for going out, and guilt doesn't mix well with me… Okay?"

Carly took her change from the cashier, merely shaking her head at Sam and deciding to let it go for the moment. The girls gathered their purchases in their hands before leaving the convenience store.

When they got outside and around the building in view of where they parked, they both stopped dead in their tracks. Sam's face fell and Carly's eyebrows raised in an "I told you so" manner.

The parking spot that had once held Sam's car was now empty… she had indeed been towed.

"Fuck," Sam mumbled. "Oh well, whatever. I'll get it later. Let's go. One more tardy and I'll get another detention."

**to be continued…**


	2. Fuzzy Pens and Chocolate Pudding

**Chapter 2  
Fuzzy Pens and Chocolate Pudding**

"Hey, Carly… uh, do you have a pen I could borrow?"

Carly's head shot up from the paper she'd been looking down at to find Jake standing in front of her, smiling his charming smile, a pleading look on his face. Her eyes widened.

"Um… yeah, yeah, hold on," Carly quickly answered, reaching down to her bag and digging around. The only pen she could find was a purple one with a pink fuzzy thing on top. She held it out to him awkwardly, getting an odd but amused look from him.

"Hm, well, I guess that's better than nothing," he chuckled, taking the pen from her, their fingers brushing as he did so.

She smiled, laughing a little. "Sorry, it's… all I have. I guess I have a thing for… girly pens."

He nodded. "It's fine. Thanks."

She watched as he went back to his seat, catching herself staring at his butt more than anything. When he looked back at her, her eyes shot up to his in surprise and she gave him another awkward smile.

All through the rest of the math class, Carly couldn't concentrate on hardly anything. She found herself glancing back at Jake a million times over instead of listening to the teacher lecture on radical numbers and square roots.

When the class was finally over, she gathered her things and left the room, starting down the hall to look for Sam, but was soon stopped by a strong hand grabbing her arm. She turned around to find Jake, his backpack on his back, and the fuzzy pen in his hand. He smiled and held it out to her.

"Hey, thanks for letting me borrow this," he said, holding it out for her to take.

She shrugged, finding herself tripping over her words. "Uh, no problem, no problem. Y-you keep it. I don't, ya know, really need it. And then you can be prepared next time, ya know."

Jake shook his head, chuckling. "Nah, it's okay. You go ahead and have it back. I don't think it'd be really fitting for me to have anyway."

Carly blushed and quickly took the pen from him. "You're right. Well, uh… I guess I'll see you later."

She started to turn to leave, but Jake stopped her. "Actually, um… didja hear about Rona's party tonight? It's supposed to be pretty off the hook…"

Carly nodded, her face flushing at the mention of the party she'd been specifically _not_ invited to. "Yeah, I heard about it. Sounds pretty cool."

"So, are you going?"

"Um, I-I dunno, really… I mean, I've got so much other stuff planned. I mean, if I have the time, I can try, but there's just… so much…"

Jake furrowed his brow, eying Carly skeptically. "Like what?"

Carly shrugged, trying to control the redness of her face. She wasn't sure what to do now… make up stories about her "great" weekends with Sam and Freddie? Tell him the truth? Or be so vague there was no possible way he could interpret it correctly? She was risking making herself look like a total idiot right now.

A few memories of weekends past ran through her head: downing shots of scotch with her best friend and her neighbor… hanging out in the empty third floor room of her apartment… having pillow fights while watching _Girly Cow_ reruns, while at the same time being drunk… making Sam help her practice with her Spanish flash cards at 2 in the morning on a Saturday night because she was "tired of her C in Spanish class…"

Yeah, her weekends were far from exciting.

"Oh, you know… _Cuh-ray-zay_ stuff," she managed to get out, adding a nervous laugh at the end, absolutely unsure of anything else to say.

Jake watched her for a moment, still looking skeptic, but quickly shrugged it off. "Oh, well, alright. Well, uh, if you ever wanna do anything _crazy_… I'd be up for it. Ya know, my weekends aren't too full. I have lacrosse practice, a game or two every weekend, but other than that… just going to parties and the Groovy Smoothie… by myself."

Carly nodded, smiling, not really picking up on the hints Jake was discreetly dropping. She wanted to get out of this conversation as soon as possible. "Oh, okay. Well, I-I'd better get going. I don't wanna be late or anything."

"Um, o-okay… Do you wanna do something sometime? Like, go to the Groovy Smoothie or something? On me," he quickly offered, eyes widened and expectant.

Carly's brown eyes widened. She wasn't sure what to say – of course she wanted to go out with him! So why not say yes? She really should… but she felt so incredibly awkward. What if he meant as a group thing? "Just you and me, or… like… as friends?"

Jake's face fell a little, but he quickly responded with, "Whatever you want. We can, uh, make it a friends thing if you want."

_Great,_ Carly thought. _Fucked that up!_

She shrugged. "Um, okay. Well, just call me or something, or text me, and we can do something."

Jake smiled. "Alright, awesome. I'll talk to you later then."

Carly nodded and waved goodbye to the blond boy before rushing off to her next class.

As soon as she made it to her Home Ec classroom, she found Sam at one of the fridges in the far corner, eating some leftover pudding from another student's project.

"Hey!"

Sam jumped, hiding the bowl behind her back instinctively and turning to see Carly. Relief flooded her face and she brought the bowl back in front of her, glancing across the room to see Mr. Buttburn, the Home Ec teacher, busy helping a student.

"What up?" she greeted Carly back, evidence of her rule-breaking left on the corners of her mouth.

"I think Jake just asked me out."

The spoonful of pudding Sam had just directed into her mouth fell off her tongue and back out into the bowl in shock. "_What?_"

Carly nodded fervently. "Yeah. I think I fucked it all up, though, 'cause I didn't know what he meant and I said, 'oh, as a friends thing?' and he said, 'oh, well if you wanna _make_ it a friends thing,' and by then, it was too late to go back and tell him I'm an idiot who doesn't understand English, so I just said, 'oh okay, totally cool,' and I think he thinks I'm a complete retard."

Sam smirked and chuckled, turning around and shoving the bowl of pudding back into the fridge before shutting the door and wiping her mouth off with the back of her hand. "Nice. Maybe he'll stop liking you now."

"Whaddyou mean, _stop_ liking me? I don't think he ever_ did_ like me."

Sam rolled her eyes and sighed. "Seriously? Are you that blind, Carls? The boy's nutty over you. Every time you walk into a room, his eyes light up, and he keeps flirting with you and stuff. He just asked you out and you're _still_ in denial – how does that even work?"

Carly narrowed her eyes, confused. "How do you see all this stuff with guys that I don't? Am I really that dumb when it comes to the opposite sex?"

Sam shrugged. "Obviously."

Just as the brunette was about to retort with something, Gibby approached the girls. "Hey, guys. Carly, you ready to make our dessert today?"

Sam's face lit up. "Hey, Gibby, I brought you some pudding today."

Gibby smiled eagerly. "Really? What for?"

The blonde nodded and turned around, retrieving the bowl of pudding from the fridge once more. "Oh, I just know how much you love chocolate pudding, and there's no way _I_ can eat it, so here ya go."

Gibby took the bowl and looked down at it, beaming. "Wow, thanks, Sam!"

He turned and walked away to his and Carly's station, getting a spoon and starting in on the pudding while the girls watched. As soon as he took the first bite, Sam burst out laughing. The younger boy, however, was oblivious, and continued eating. Carly shook her head at Sam, disgusted.

"And you wonder why you can't make any other friends."

**to be continued…**

**

* * *

A/N: **I'm not totally sure how soon the next update will be up. I'm working on it currently, of course, and this story is a lot easier to write than my others. But school ends in about a week and I have to give my laptop back (which has ALL my stories on it), but I'm getting my hard drive put on my old laptop, so I can still keep everything. But just saying, I'm not completely sure when I'll be up and running for more fic writing again. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know what you think of the story so far! Next chapter is where Freddie comes in!


	3. Surprising Icing & Surprises From Nerds

**Chapter 3  
Surprising Icing and Surprises From Nerds**

Sam sighed loudly, glaring across the classroom at the scene of Carly and Gibby as partners. They were currently playing Rock, Paper, Scissors to find out who would go get the aprons and utensils. Carly was giggly as always, and Gibby was… well, Gibby.

Sam's partner was gone… _again_. The kid had been skipping school nearly every day for the past week. Summer being so close had given a lot of kids senioritis and drained their motivation. Sam understood this… but there were only so many days she could spend making cakes and doing dishes by herself.

When Mr. Buttburn walked by, Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him over to her, startling him.

"Yo, Buttburn," she demanded.

"Yes, Ms. Puckett?"

"I want a partner. I'm sick of working by myself in here every day," she complained.

The teacher sighed. "I'm sorry, but it's not my fault Jacob doesn't feel the need to come to school every day."

"Dude, c'mon! This isn't even fair," Sam protested, gesturing towards Gibby and Carly, who were currently splashing each other with water while washing their hands. "Look – my best friend is over there with a nerd having a grand ol' time. I didn't even want to _take_ this class! I only agreed because Carly begged me to and bribed me with promises of all the delicious food we were gonna make. But ya know what's bullshit? We haven't made any delicious food. The soufflé I made collapsed, the cookies burned, the soup evaporated… What – when am I going to get to make amazing food like Gibby and Carly? Make him work alone for once! She's _my_ best friend, and – "

Mr. Buttburn put his hands up to silence Sam's rant. "Okay, listen: I'm not going to split up Carly and Gibby. They work well together, and she somehow gets him to keep his shirt on through the entire class."

Sam rolled her eyes.

"But!" he added, signaling that there was a plus side. "Pete's partner is gone today, too, and he doesn't work very well by himself. So go ahead and join him at his station. But if you don't get your dessert finished by the end of class – _and_ your dishes done and area cleaned – then I'm not going to do this for you again."

Sam shrugged. "Alright, cool. Deal."

She walked over to Pete's station, where he was making icing in two different colors. He looked up and smiled, brushing some blond hair away from his eye.

"Oh, hey, Sam. 'Sup?" he smiled at her, handing her the extra apron he had sitting on the counter.

She smiled back, feeling that fluttery feeling in her stomach as she took the apron from him and slipped it over her head. "Hey. I convinced Buttburn to give me a partner for once, since Jacob never feels like coming to school. So… here I am."

Pete chuckled. "Alright, cool! Let's do it then."

Sam glanced back at Carly and Gibby's station as she tied the apron around herself. Carly was watching her, and when their gazes met, the brunette raised her eyebrows in a suggestive manner. She knew about Sam's attraction to Pete since the blonde had seen him at the pool the summer before. Sam only grinned back, and discreetly gave a thumbs up, to which Carly giggled and turned back to help Gibby.

Sam turned back to Pete, who was reading the ingredients off of a piece of paper.

"Okay," he explained. "I'm making – _we're_ making – some fancy vanilla cake thing. I just made the icing, so…"

The two teens proceeded to gather their ingredients and utensils and make their dessert. Sam kept giving Carly sly grins whenever the brunette glanced over, causing her to giggle every time, because she could only _imagine_ what was going on in Sam's head…

When it came time to put the icing on the dessert, Sam volunteered. While Pete cleaned up the mixing bowl and spoons they'd used, Sam applied icing. As soon as Carly glanced over again, though, Sam held up the dessert in the pan to show her best friend what she'd created with the icing. Carly had to stifle a laugh and slap a hand over mouth to keep from bursting out laughing.

Sam had spelled out in icing on the dessert, "_**FUCK ME, PETE**_."

She lowered it back down and smoothed away the "_**FUCK ME**_" just as Pete turned around to check on her progress. Playing it off, she smiled at him playfully and gestured towards his name in icing.

"Look, I spelled your name with it," she chuckled nervously, hoping he hadn't seen what she'd just covered up.

Pete laughed. "Nice!"

When he turned back around, Sam glanced up at Carly once more to see her watching with wide eyes and laughing quietly to herself. The blonde mimicked wiping sweat from her forehead and mouthed a "WHEW!" Carly only continued laughing to herself, turning back to help a very confused Gibby.

"So," Pete started, turning back to help Sam by handing her the other icing and disposing of what she'd just used. "Any plans for this weekend?"

Sam shrugged, carefully smoothing across the other color of icing to blend in with what she'd already applied. "Oh, probably gonna party. Ya know, just another weekend…"

Pete smirked. "Oh, okay. Well, uh, I know Rona's having a party tonight, but… I was thinking about having my own. Like, I dunno… If I could bribe my big bro into buying me some alcohol, then I could just invite all the people that can't go to Rona's party."

"Why can't people go to Rona's party?" Sam asked, trying to act nonchalant about it, like she wasn't personally uninvited by Rona herself just that morning.

"Oh, she's being a real bitch about it, dude. You haven't heard? She's like, told a bunch of people they specifically can't come to her party just 'cause they're not _cool_ enough or whatever. It's pretty jank," he explained. "She told a lot of my friends they couldn't come 'cause they're skater kids or something stupid like that. So fuck her. We'll throw our own party. I never liked rich kids' parties anyway."

Sam grinned, nodding. This made her feel way better. "Yeah, exactly. Sounds cool. I hate Rona, dude… she's way stuck up."

"Exactly," Pete agreed, chuckling.

While Pete finished topping the dessert, Sam slipped off to Carly and Gibby's station. Carly left Gibby to finish their dessert and turned around to see what Sam wanted.

"So… partners with Pete, huh?" she smiled.

Sam nodded, glancing back to check on the blond boy. "Yeah. Dude, he's _so cute_! And guess what…"

"What?"

"He totally just invited me to his party tonight. He knows about Rona and her party, and he said she's been telling a bunch of people they're not invited, so he's gonna throw his own party and invite everyone who can't go to Rona's. Isn't that _awesome_?" Sam explained, giddy at just the thought.

"Awesome! But am I invited, too?" Carly asked warily.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Duh! I don't go without you. I think everyone knows that already."

"Oh, cool! Well – "

Just then, the girls were interrupted by a black-haired head popping up behind Carly excitedly, grabbing their attention. They spun around to find Freddie Benson, Carly's neighbor, grinning at them, obviously eager to tell them something.

"Hey, Carly!" he greeted happily, but his voice soon lost its excitement when he turned to Sam. "And Sam."

Sam sighed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Whaddyou want, Benson?"

Freddie narrowed his eyes and turned back to Carly. "Okay, so are you guys ready to party this weekend? 'Cause I'm getting… drumroll please…"

Sam slapped him on the arm, causing him to jump back a little. "Just say it! What're you getting, nerd?"

Freddie frowned, but then sighed and said in a less excited manner, "A fake ID."

Carly and Sam's eyes both went wide simultaneously. They looked at each other, then back at Freddie.

"Seriously? From who?" Carly questioned him first.

Freddie smirked in satisfaction. "Rodney. I'm gettin' it for two hundred."

Sam's face fell. "Dude, you're just gonna get gipped. You know Rodney's reputation, and anything fake he's ever made for anyone has always been caught."

"No, not this time," Freddie assured her. "He's getting it from some other guy. He's just my hook-up 'cause the guy doesn't trust anyone but Rodney."

"I dunno, that doesn't sound very safe," Carly spoke up, unsure and obviously afraid of getting caught.

Sam shifted her weight to one foot. "Yeah. How do we know it's even gonna be legit?"

Freddie shrugged. "Well, Rodney's not gonna take two hundred bucks from me and then give me a fake ID that _doesn't_ work."

Carly quirked an eyebrow. "Did you forget the nickname he's had since grade school? _Rip-Off_ Rodney?"

Freddie was looking a lot less confident now. He tried to shrug it off. "Don't worry. It'll work. Rodney showed me his that he got from the same guy and it looks totally real. He said he uses it all the time. Where do you think Rona gets all her alcohol for her parties? She sends Rodney to get it."

Sam narrowed her eyes. "So _that's_ how that asshole gets into all her parties…"

Freddie nodded, then gestured towards the door. "Yeah. Anyway, I was walking here, and guess who I was walking behind? Valerie! She is so hot, you guys… She even – "

Sam reached across and put her hand over Freddie's mouth. "Sh sh… Shut up. We don't care. I have a question for you, dork."

Freddie glared at her, shoving her hand away, but proceeded to listen anyway, if not angrily. "_What?_"

The shorter of the two girls glanced at her best friend, then back to Freddie. "We just got invited to Pete's party tonight, and… we're tryin' to get laid. You think you could help us out by buying the alcohol for us?"

Carly gaped and quickly interjected. "No! What? I never said I'm trying to get laid. _Sam_ is trying to get laid, she – "

Sam shushed the other girl. "Oh, shut up. You're inviting Jake, or I will. And we're both gonna get laid before the night's over… we _have_ to."

Carly only sighed and slumped her shoulders over, deciding not to argue since she knew it was useless.

Freddie shrugged, looking over Sam's shoulder to see Pete working on finishing whatever was in the pan in front of him. He looked back at Sam skeptically. "No way. Why would I wanna help you? It's _my_ ID."

Sam groaned. "C'mon, don't be an asshole! We'll give you the money for it and everything."

Freddie shook his head stubbornly. "Nope. I might buy something for Carly, but there's no way I'm buying shit for you just so you can try to have sex with some douche."

Sam nudged Carly, who sighed but gave in and asked Freddie herself. "Please, Freddie? If you're gonna do it for me, do it for Sam, too."

Freddie shook his head again, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance.

"For me?" Carly asked in her sweetest voice.

Freddie groaned and tried not to reply, but he knew he had to. Carly had a special way of working her girl magic on him, and it got him every time. "Oh, alright. But you guys owe me!"

Sam smirked. "Yeah, okay, whatever. When're you getting the ID?"

"I'm heading over to Rodney's to get it during lunch. Why?"

"Okay, well, meet us in the staff parking lot after lunch so we can see it. I wanna make sure it's legit, so if it isn't, I can find a back-up plan. I'm not gonna offer to buy the alcohol for Pete's party until after I've seen the ID," she explained.

Freddie shrugged. "Alright. I'll see you guys then."

Just as he was about to turn to leave, Mr. Buttburn came over to join the trio, pink apron in hand. "Freddie? You know the rules."

He pointed to a sign hanging next to the door that read, "**_IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN HERE, YOU HAVE TO WEAR AN APRON!_**"

Freddie, a sucker for rules and obeying teachers' orders, shook his head quickly and waved the teacher away. "Uh, I-I can't read."

He then rushed off, disappearing out the door and into the hallway, leaving Mr. Buttburn shaking his head and walking away, apron still in hand.

Once both males had left the vicinity, Sam and Carly turned to each other excitedly.

"This is gonna be so awesome! I can't wait to tell Pete. He's gonna be so psyched… He'll get drunk for sure, and then ya know what that means!"

Carly forced a smile. "Drunken, possibly regrettable, sex?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah! I'll talk to you later."

The blonde rushed back to her station with Pete, who was just starting the dishes. Carly helped Gibby finish the dishes as well. By the end of class, though, Sam joined Carly at the door, looking somber.

"What's wrong?" Carly wondered as they entered the hallway.

"I couldn't help it… I told Pete I'd get him the alcohol…"

**to be continued…**


End file.
